Saturday, May 21, 2011

I Think, Therefore I've confused myself.

WOW! It's been forever since I've posted. Mind you, I said posted. I've written many posts in my head but never seem to get them to type. A lot has changed in my life since my last post, many things for the better. I'm still in school working on a Masters in Social Work. I've decided to take the summer break however, because my brain is TIRED. I work at a veterans health care facility now and I've finally married my significant bother, I mean, significant other. I have a step-grandson that is almost two and the light of my life. My only bio-child, Brandi, is in the Navy, currently stationed in Japan. Life may not always be good but it does go on.

I have to laugh at myself. I just realized that as brave as I try to portray, I am not that brave. Today is supposed to be "doomsday" and I just caught myself checking the time. Do I believe in that shtuff, (yes, shtuff)? No, not really, but I am just paranoid enough to have that niggling "what if" thought in the back of my head. Our modern day predictor, Preacher Harold Camping, needs to get his money back on the How to Predict the End of the Earth classes.  He has previously predicted that the world would end in 1994 and here we are in 2011 still waiting...( Nostradamus (sp?) had predicted many things that have not come true. Of course, his predictions were made back in the time that opiates were not considered drugs....Heck, be honest, some of the best writings come from that era. Edgar Allen Poe, for example, was sick and twisted, but dang he's a great read. Telltale Heart: Thu-dump, thu-dump, thu-dump. Awesome tome to scare yourself silly. (I have his greatest stories in a leatherbound edition.)

I just finished a philosophy class that covered such greats (freaks?) as Socrates, Plato and Nietzsche. Now, those were some twisted, um, alternatively thinking dudes. Philosophy, on the surface,  makes some valid points of sense. Deeper, however, and your brain starts twisting in your head trying to make it all work together. You've been raised to believe certain ways about certain things and here comes this philosophy jazz that makes just enough sense for you to start doubting yourself and your beliefs. Now me, being overly analytical as I am, had to over think everything, run pro/con mental lists and then try to parallel the teachings and ultimately caused a train-wreck of confusion between understanding what we had learned as children and was now being presented to me as an adult. My professor stated that we would likely be insulted at some point in this class, as it attacks the basics of our foundation such as love, religion, etc.. I was never insulted, although I did take in enough of the differences to start wondering if, perhaps, we were just really matter and did not exist at all. Hmmm. Food for Prozac, oops, food for thought. Now, the purpose of this class is to teach one to think outside the box and boy howdy, you do, unless you are resistant to any form of thought other than what you possessed from parental and societal programming before the class. The moral of my story, you ask? I have none. I do know that I tend to read too much into things and am really a sacrificial lamb for some cult guru to brainwash. Me thinks I think too much. Or do I?  (Thinking.)

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