Friday, June 10, 2011

Things I’ve learned in my lifetime:

1.        If you don’t care for it the first time, try it again later; you might be surprised.
2.      In many cases, I’d rather “over-do” rather than “under-do”.
3.       There is no such thing as saying “I love you” too much, as long as it’s genuine each time it is said. 
4.      I am not qualified to judge anyone at any time.
5.      If someone’s lifestyle is one you disagree with, don’t live like them.
6.      If someone’s lifestyle is one you disagree with, remember that not everyone agrees with your lifestyle.
7.      Eventually, even in the smallest of ways, we become our parents.
8.      Everyone has a past.
9.      Most people have secrets.
10.   Don’t assume the smile on one’s face doesn’t mask the pain in their heart.
11.     Don’t let the pain in your heart keep you from smiling.
12.    You never stop learning and growing unless you choose to.
13.    A closed mind is a terrible waste.
14.   I will never understand how “religious” makes it acceptable to be judgmental, hateful and mean.
15.    While I understand having pride in one’s own, I do not understand using that pride to segregate others.  
16.   One act of kindness does not erase every act of unkindness; however, one prayer asking your higher power for forgiveness will.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Young women, you don't need him...

 I have to say I am amazed and shocked by today's generation of females.  Yes, I know, that is said with every generation and I have just become one of the "old people" who shake my head and roll my eyes when a young ladies with a nicer butt and sexier legs walks by.  But, what the hey, I'm good with that.  Yet, I'm not speaking from a distance, I'm speaking from dead on, face on, everyday experiences with the teens and twenty-somethings of today's world.  I have daughters, 22, 21, 17 and 14.  I have daily interaction with my daughter's friends. My husband works with several young ladies that we try to mentor.  I, myself, am a battle scarred and hard-way-learned person.  In short, I now practice what I'm about to preach because I have experienced that which I now denounce. 

Young ladies, you do not need these men who put you down, abuse you, abandon you, lie to you, cheat on you.  We're not in the 50's any longer; you are not a man's doormat. You can stand independently and be strong, productive and successful.  You don't need him to tell you that you are beautiful...tell yourself.  You don't need him to provide for it yourself.  I understand that loneliness is a terrible feeling but you don't die from loneliness; you do die from abuse, starvation, stress.  You can raise your children alone, yet, you can also prevent yourself from pregnancy.  Having his baby won't straighten him out, teach him a lesson or make him stay.  As a matter of fact, it's more likely that the man will run if you have his baby. Not all men are this way but be honest, a lot are.  Ladies, if you don't respect yourself, who will?

I have several beautiful young women in my life right now that are experiencing abusive, neglectful and pointless relationships.  I'm not going to blame the men because we women have more power than the women before us. We can stand on our own, we can provide for ours and ourselves.  If the man doesn't have a job, won't help with the children, can't clean the house, do the laundry, then that man shouldn't park his being on anything you have paid for or provided.  A man that will take money from a single parent is not a man.  A man that will lay in bed all day while you're at work then party when you get home, is not a man.  If he calls you fat, stupid, useless then move on.  Why would you even care about the opinion of a grown man who can not provide for himself.? Sure, he may have on the latest fashions but if he didn't pay for them with the money he earned then he owns nothing.  No sex is that good, no man is worth the price of losing yourself or worse yet, your children and family.  But the blame is on you, not him.  Stand up for yourself, validate yourself, protect yourself young women.  Afterall, before he was in your life you had yourself and when he walks out you can't let him take your strength with him.  Because, in all seriousness, when he leaves, you are still standing there.  Take care of you, beautiful women, put yourself first before any man.  Trust in yourself and your higher power.

Young women, you don't need him...