Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Why I'm here

At the insistance (nagging) of my good lifelong friend I am here, writing. What will come out of me is yet to be seen as I tend to be an "in the moment" type of girl. If I had to describe myself I'd have to say that I'm a good hearted cynic (sp?) with an occassional attitude but always bursting with opinions. I have definate likes and strong dislikes but am usually open to another point of view. My only carved in stone opinion is: If more adults spent time teaching a child to be productive instead of just demanding it maybe we'd get more positive out of them. But hey, that's a whole other blog for me.

I've lived a million lives in my 40 years. Some lives I put proudly out to public view and others lives I hide in that old rusty tin can deep in my mind. I've had many loves, some more real than others, some more lasting, some more fleeting. I've experienced physicality, carnality, spirituality and more than a few doses of reality. I am a mother, a lover, a fighter, a friend. I can be an enemy but only until you need me then I'll but my heart on the line again. That's what I do. I still, after all I've learned, believe in the basic goodness in people. The problem with that is that the people often don't believe in it. One of lifes many double edged swords. Still, one has to have something to believe in.

I cry at movies, commercials and seeing a dad push his child on the swing at the playground. I think kissing is intimate and won't do it with just anyone. I don't believe in laying all the cards on the table in the first hand, nor do I believe that being in love with someone means you have to forget about yourself. I think life is about choices, decisions, gain, losses and is what it is. Life. Try to find a solid definition for that word. It's interpretive at best.

It's said that I'm intelligent and have a way with "words". I know that my words have gotten me deeply in trouble many times and that I have to learn to say the words that other people love. Often in defense of someone else I'll tell on myself. Might want to pop some popcorn for that one, because there is quite a bit to tell.

I look forward to meeting you and hope you can enjoy and identify with some of my points of view and opinions. I'd certainly be willing to try your opinion on, even if I don't agree.

I'll blog with you soon. The Queen B

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